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Wow. Just Wow.

09 Nov

First of all i’m a bit ashamed of that little calender on my last post. There are a lot of little red boxes, and that’s not a good thing. I’m falling behind, and i don’t know how to fix it. I wan’t to write, and i have it in me to write, but it’s not coming. I need inspiration i guess, and i need to get away from all the distractions i have right now. The other night i was trying to write and got this image stuck in my head of what i wanted to happen at our last football game. So i wrote about it to get it off my mind. I don’t have that lately. Well i do but if i used it i would be writing the same thing over and over again. I gotta get my mind off of what it’s been stuck on so much lately. I’m so happy though šŸ™‚ I actually feel like a normal highschool girl. Going to football games, passing notes in class, DREAMING! That’s the key word there, dreaming. Without dreams you’re just sleeping. And i don’t know about everybody else but i don’t wan’t to sleep through my life.

Lifes good right now. Now if i could just catch up on nanowrimo it’d be perfect. I’m like 5,000 words behind and still not sure how it got that way. Oh yeah, i was daydreaming. šŸ™‚

Before i go to catch up on my novel i have some things about Glee tonight.

Tonights episode of glee started out kind of iffy, like with people making out (why is that on tv anyways) but after i fast forwarded through the first 5 minutes i was captivated by something that i feel that i had never quite understood myself. But i get it now.

In glee tonight alot of things happened. The new football coach, Coach Beast (who is a girl and yes that is her real name) was being made fun of in a very hurtful way. And it made me cry, because she deserves better then that! She’s just a girl like the rest of us is she not? In the show she is 40 and had never been kissed. *SPOILER ALERT* And that’s when Mr. Schuster tells her that she’s beautiful inside and out, and that she’s never been kissed before because no guy has been able to accept how big of a heart she has. And i’m sure you can guess what happens next. He kisses her. It makes her smile, and he follows it with “And now you’ve been kissed.” Then all the boys that were being mean to herĀ apologize, happy ending and such.

What was even more touching to me was the fact that my favorite character Kurt, if you don’t know the show very well here’s the low down on Kurt. He’s gay. He’s the only gay kid in the school. He’s not afraid to stand out and that often seems to get him into trouble with bullies. So what if he’s gay. You know what what is so wrong with that in the first place. It’s his life, not mine or yours. Kurt is something bigger then all of us. I admire him. He isn’t afraid to stand out and just completely be himself. Ā If i could say the same for my self then people might think of me as a bit different. I have a lot of opinions that i don’t voice, but that doesn’t matter. I’m talking about Kurt here. He’s been lonely the past few episodes. And while spying on their sectional competition he realizes something about everyone else and something about himself. (Yes it’s rather cliche and he meets another gay dude big deal) He realizes that it doesn’t matter what other people do to him. That it doesn’t matter if they push him around because you wanna know something? If he stands up to them, they’ll leave him alone. And he does exactly that. I’ll say this again. I admire him. He does what i feel like i can’t. Ā Stand up for himself. I admire that. Kurt’s character in the show is so much bigger then Kurt’s character. He’s not just a random gay character they threw in there to change things up. I think that he’s in there because he represents all insecurities that we have. And how we’re afraid that if we let that stand out in our personality that people will “judge us” for what we really are. Ā What i was saying before i went into this whole explanation was that Kurt. Kurt is happy for the most part now. Because of that boy that he met in the opposing school.

They’re not “with” each other. But Blaine. Blaine is good for him. He tells him to beĀ courageous. And that’s exactly what he needs. It makes me happy to see him happy. So what he’s just a fictional character in a tv show but i’m sure. I’mĀ positiveĀ that teenagers in his exact situation go through that every day! Sure i’m not gay but i go through that a lot as well! I have things that i’m afraid to stand up for. Things that i know if i do stand up for i’ll be seen differently for. That’s why i admire Kurt. He’s stronger then i am.

Well i guess i’ll shut up about Kurt for now. I’m sure there is someone out in the world that is either made rather uncomfortable or just flat out doesn’t like the fact that i’m talking about gay people. On top of that, the fact that i’m talking about admiring gay people. And you know what, that bugs me. They’re just like everybody else. You shouldn’t shun them for being who they actually are. People that totally just judge everyone else as bad people bug me to a very high level.

Now that i’ve put in my two cents i have other things to be doing. Like writing my novel. But first like always i have something for you to think about.

Why do we make fun of people?

What is so wrong with being different in the first place?

I’ve come to realize that the mostĀ courageous people i know are the ones that are the least afraid to be different, like Kurt for example.

IĀ apologizeĀ now to those of you who really don’t like this blog post. I know there will be someone out there that doesn’t like it. But that’s a risk i’m willing to take. This is something that i think people should know!

I think we should all strive to be different! To be individuals! And by doing that just strive to be ourselves!

This is a really long blog post which of course leaves me thinking, why can’t i sit down and type that many words on my novel? 1119 on this post as of right now. Ā And i ask myself that question. Why can’t i do that with my novel?

I know the answer.

It’s because I don’t live my novel.

I dont live the story of Chasing Viola.

I live my life and that is what this blog is about, which allows me to tell everyone what i think about life and everything else in oblivion.

I need to change some things in my story to get actual feelings in the mix. A wise man, and my favorite author once told me that if i wan’t to be a good writer, to write about what i actually know about. That’s why i’m having trouble with my book! I’m not writing it about what i actually know! Some things have to change with that book, and they’re gonna change now. After this 1300 word blog post i’m feeling inspired.

I hope what i said didnt’ offend anyone in any way, but in turn showed them something. I’m not trying to upset anybody with this post, just trying to get the word out there that really it doesn’t matter if you’re different then the rest of the crowd! That’s all this really is about is being different!

And i know that even though i’m a straight as it gets, in my heart i’m striving to be like Kurt right now. I’m striving to be that way because Kurt has strength that i dont’ have. Strength that, if we all had, could make the world such a better place.

We all need to have the strength to be different. We all need to have the courage to understand others in theirĀ pursuitĀ of Ā being different. That’s all that i’m trying to say.

Goodnight everybody. Now that i’ve typed a full 1500 words of stuff that made me feel better about things but added nothing to my novel, i’m signing off and am going to try and get a couple thousand words in by 11:00. Then it’s off to dreamland for me.

So now that you have some stuff to think about then i’m going to sign off of here before i waste anymore precious words on my blog. šŸ˜›

You guys are all awesome for reading this.

Goodnight world.

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Posted by on November 9, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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